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20121106
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will be joining us on the show. [cheering and applause] and then tomorrow night it's president barack obama. but still... [laughter] these people get to... [cheering and applause] nate silver, the president of statistician-stan. as you know, last night the presidential cam pan headed to hofstra university where the candidates debated from a diverse crowd hard of long islanders ranging from italian guys to other italian guys to a jewish guy and his mom. [laughter] such diversity in long island. the first question somehow ended up on the auto industry rescue. >> i know you keep saying, you want to take detroit bankrupt. well, the president took detroit bankrupt. you took general motors bankrupt. you took chrysler bankrupt. that was pre-sizely what i recommended and ultimately what happened. >> jon: okay. in fact, obama's publicly financed detroit auto industry managed bankruptcy is not precisely what romney recommended. romney precisely recommended private credit, which at the time was to be precise non-existent. meaning under his plan detroit's bankruptcy would have been unmanaged and quite
for tuning in. we are on on a friday night t is very unusual for us. and i'm-- let's just-- here's the-- i'm the-- here's the fact. this has been a long week. we are on the road, away from our families, the people here in tampa have been very nice, very hospitable, but let's face facts. it is hotter than a gorilla's anus. (laughter) (applause) >> jon: although, to be fair to gorillas-- (laughter) -- that is a dry heat. (applause) the worst part of this town-- the worst part of this town, you can't even sit down to take a break from the unrelenting heat because the moment you form any kind of lap in the tampa-st. pete area, you are set upon by those who seek to dance upon said lap. (cheers and applause) >> jon: do you know-- do you know how hard it is to get money down in tampa that does not have body glitter on it? (laughter) i was admittedly a little down last night, from being here this whole week, a little disspirited. and then-- no, no-- and then it happened. yes! amidst the tired rhetoric, empty platitudes and overwrought attacks, a fistful of awesome! (laughter) emerged in the night
things would be different!ld be d that son of a bitch lied to us!ied to i knew i should have voted for mccain! have ragh! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey, welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. our guest journalist martha raddatz will be here, moderator and the winner of this year's vice presidential debate. a very rough weekend in the tri-state area. i'm sure by now you've all seen pictures of the damage. here's something you might want to look at. these are marathon runners who channeled their disappointment in the cancellation of the marathon into volunteering to help storm clean-up. ( cheers and applause ) it was very, very moving. it's enough to make you not that annoyed by marathon runners. not quite. obviously all donations still greatly appreciated. the sandy relief fund dot-org. your i-tunes dot-com slash red cross. you have your united way n
did use performance enhancing drugs, so did all the other prophets. but i didn't. so what have we learned, from this great wristband theft? maybe... that when stripped of our scauses, only causes are left. and causes shouldn't be worn on our wrists with a sneer. let's keep our causes where they belong, which is right here. on t-shirts! free pussy riot! [cheers and applause] - free pussy riot! boys: yeah! - yay! from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey, welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. our guest journalist martha raddatz will be here, moderator and the winner of this year's vice presidential debate. a very rough weekend in the tri-state area. i'm sure by now you've all seen pictures of the damage. here's something you might want to look at. these are marathon runners who channeled their disappointment in the cancellation of the marathon into volunteering to help storm clean-up. ( cheers and applau
they go into the polls >> ulna... honor. leadership. nachos. yeah, what word are we going to use? >> nachos how often? all the time so describe the school using a nacho metaphor >> nachos, the school is like nacho cheese. more nourishing and you can't get enough of it. >> reporter: as the pearlman campaign seized the momentum jason desperately searched for a celebrity to give zablo campaign a boost >> i need a big-time actor, any super hero would be great. oh, really? would he do it >> reporter: but time was running out because with debate afternoon finally here for the candidates, it was game time. ♪ >> it is with great pleasure that i introduce kyle pearlman and lauren zablo. >> my name is lauren zablo and i am running to be your student council president. i've been in student council since sixth grade so i will make every effort snts >> reporter: while lauren went with substance, the pearlman took a different approach >> hello, my fellow americans. i can see i'm the only one wearing played today >> i'm sorry to see that i'm the only one wearing a flag pin today. this electio
congratulate him on taking out osama bin laden. drones are being used in drone strikes and i support that entirely. and feel the president was right. i want to underscore the same point the president made. i felt the same as the president did. i supported his action there. absolutely the right thing to do to have crippling sanctions. (cheers and applause) >> jon: i think romney's leaning obama! (laughter) apparently romney is one of this year's coveted swing voters. look, how closely did mitt romney align himself with what had, i guess up until last night, been the worst foreign policy ever? listen to these guys duet on syria. >> i believe that assad must go. >> assad has to go. >> i don't want to have our military involved in syria. >> for us to get more entangled militarily in syria is a serious step. >> so the right course for us is working through our partners -- >> -- in consultation with our partners -- >> -- to identify responsible parties within syria. >> mobilizing the moderate forces. >> organize them. >> helping the operation organize. >> we need to make sure -- >> making
, everybody, we'll check if with you guys later. anyway, it's been a harrowing couple of days for all of us. once again a huge debt of gratitude not only to first responders who have risked their lives to save others or-- as they call it-- going to work. (laughter) but also the m.t.a., power companies, phone companies, public officials, we thank you all tonight in our brand new segment "a daily show tribute to institutional competence." (cheers and applause) it's amazing! amazing! once you remove political and partisan gamesmanship from a situation performance improves dramatically. down the line government's been on top of its stuff, we'll start with n.y.c. mayor michael bloomberg. but, listen, i think we all agree if these cups were still legal -- (laughter). -- maybe the city would haven't flooded at all. (laughter) but that's not the point, that's not the point. the point is -- (cheers and applause) the point is mayor bloomberg kicked ass at his job and did in the two languages. (. >> (speaking broken spanish) (laughter). >> jon: all right. that may sound like what happens when you walk
to convince the candidates need to be court and women have rational creatures and men use just this organ here. the one i'm pointed too. [laughter] >> jon: for women life is just one big turnon, turn off, playboy questionnaire? >> that's what we use in place of resumes. we all fill them out when we turn 18 whether you get chosen to pose or not. >> jon: it seems like if that's the case it would be impossible to have a spirited debate. >> that's ridiculous you just need to be smarter about the staging. yes. [laughter] sh%mm that is a debate a lady >> jon: welcome back. tonight he's currently the president of these united states. please welcome back to the program, president barack obama. [cheers and applause] >> how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? good to see everybody. good to see you. >> jon: how are you? >> i'm doing great. before i do anything else i have to acknowledge we have amazing women warriors. we have a whole crew of veterans, i had nothing to do with this. the uso wanted to bring them here and a want everybody to give them a big round of applause. >> i do want to ask you this. i
into a great depression. let's make sure we are cutting out those things that are not helping us grow. 18 programs are-- medical fraud in medicare, cut a trillion dollars out of our discretionary domestic budget. the specifically specific $4 trillion deficit reduction plan t is on the web site. you can look at all the numbers. let me just finish this point because are you looking for contrast. >> way over two minutes. >> sorry (laughter) >> jon: you went over your time? and you somehow managed in all that overtime to not turn and look your opponent in the lie and just mention what he said was untrue? not even a quick sneeze before your answer, no need to be coy, let me see if i can come up with a two minute answer that might have been more effective. liar! lie, lie, liar, lie, lie, liar, lie, lie, lie, lie, liar. lie romney lie! romney lie, lie. your time is up. >> shot your fat pie hole lehrer. optimism he-- i'm account command never chief, i don't take orders from tote bag johnnie. lie, lie, lie. what did you think lehrer was going bail you out. hold romney's feet to the fire. lehrer sp
Search Results 0 to 8 of about 9

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